By Jack Mauro
Things are terrific with you and your partner, all things considered. You get along just great and share compatibility in all sorts of things. Add it to which, your sex life is the stuff that dreams – well, sex dreams – are made of. It appears that nothing could go wrong. What could go wrong, after all?
He touches you too much. He's too near on the sofa when you watch a movie and he has to throw an arm around you when there's no earthly reason for him to do so. That's all, and that's it. And it could do it. I've seen it happen. We all have our little sets of parameters regarding just how much basic physical contact we're comfortable with, leaving aside the more general abhorrence most of us harbor for too in-your-face types, those who allow no personal space. When it comes to the guy you plan on being with forever, this can be a serious danger zone, and it can destroy relationships precisely because you value him so much. That is, you try desperately to let it go and say nothing.
Bad strategy. Yes, this is as delicate an area to broach as any sexual issue between you, but broach it you must. Far, far worse is to silently transmit the signals of discomfort you're undoubtedly signaling, because his seemingly perverse response will be to be even more physically attentive. Or he will interpret your slight cringing as indicative of something much worse and begin seeing a completely avoidable end in sight. In this case, guys, silence is deadly.
Talk to him, and be sure you do so when you yourself are most at ease with being physically close to him; this reassurance will be essential. Let him know how you love him – it's old-hat, yes, but it works when it's true, always. You can even share jokes about it and set up coach partitions. Let him be sarcastic if it mollifies any hurt he may feel. Just by treating it lightly, albeit directly, you render it no big deal. And that's how those bad issues disappear.
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