By Jack Mauro
From the 'Relatively New Issues for Gay Men Dating with Serious Ends in Sight' digest comes this little irritant, and it's one men have dealt with – poorly – since men first began seriously dating women or men. It's an aspect of the social scene. It's when his or your own eye involuntarily takes in, sizes up and admires the hell out of the hot guy at the nearby table. And it never, ever goes unnoticed by the guy sitting across from you.
Let's say you're the owner of the guilty eye. What do you do, caught in the act of a reflex of minor lust? There are a few options but it's what you don't do that's important, and that's the ancient and absurd pretense of, No, no, you weren't even looking. Cough, cough. If that gossamer falsehood ever worked, women might never have required wedding rings. The best thing you can do is be sweetly sheepish, followed through with a little extra attention to your man. Denying the look gives it weight it doesn't merit; acknowledging the quick, straying glance eviscerates it. It's a romantic faux pas but it's a teeny one, and admitting to it keeps it miniscule and harmless.
And when he's the culprit? In the words of a neo-classic film, lighten up, Francis. We date, we commit, we marry but, as has been noted, we're not dead yet and reflexes are persistent things. As his refuting of the look adds import, so too does your over-reacting to it. Shrug it off. In doing so, you make yourself more attractive, too. Besides – you can also then feel better about checking out the busboy when your guy goes to the men's room.
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