MyPartner

Action Alert: New Yorkers--Call the Governor!

Governor David A. Paterson has said that the State of New York will recognize legal same-sex marriages from other states and countries.

He's doing a poll on whether people support it. If you're interested in taking 15 seconds to lodge your support, just call 1-518-474-8390 and say "I support the Governor's directive on marriage," then give your 5 digit (New York) zip code.

Send this to all your friends and progressive coworkers in New York ASAP!

Honoring Cecilia Chung of Transgender Law Center

In honor of the Transgender Law Center's former Deputy Director, Cecilia Chung (in the center, receiving the gifts) about 40 of us in the community came together at the home of Chris Sinton on Saturday, May 31, 2008, to celebrate her tenure and spectacular work within the LGBT community. Cecilia received a declaration by Mayor Gavin Newsom, a Certificate of Recognition by Assemblyman Mark Leno, and numerous other gifts from the guests in attendance. While Cecilia has resigned from the TLC, she will very much continue to be a critical contributor to the fight for equal rights for all members of the LGBT community.

We thank you Cecilia for all that you have done, and all that you will continue to do!

10 Things Every Gay Man Should Know For A First Date

By Patrick Perrine

Make it Quick and Easy...
Choose a quiet, neutral place to meet. I recommend a lunch or coffee date for the first meeting. You want to be able to communicate easily and in a non-confrontational space. If you aren't into each other, it's easy to cut a coffee date short!

Look Your Best
Attention to detail is everything. Depending on your venue, dress appropriately. You want to look your best and be the part!

Laughing Allows the World to Laugh with You
Everyone loves being around charming people because they seem to spread good vibes. Get yourself into the right state for making a great first impression and go for it. Feel good about yourself and others will feel good about you.

A Second Date is Great, but Concentrate on Conversation
Let's face it, most men looking for the right match want to know what kind of person you are before deciding whether or not they'd like to see you again - not just how sexy you are. Make an effort to get to know your date; you'll make a better impression that way. One of the most common mistakes people make is dominating a conversation - remember: it's not always about you!

Give GENUINE Compliments - but not too many!
There's nothing worse than flooding a date with flowery lines about them, BUT everyone has something special to offer - so notice that something special and offer genuine compliments.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. by Keeping Your Hands to Yourself!
Some people are known as 'close talkers'. Even when engaging in casual chat they just get too close. Many men have no objection to 'touchy feely' encounters, others are put-off by it. Respect your date until you have figured out more about him. Touching can be an effective, flirty action, but should be reserved until you know more.

Safety!
Although we have screened your date and are aware of your time and meeting place, please use commonsense and never enter into any situation you are not 100% comfortable about. Please don't hesitate to contact us immediately should you feel your safety is not in tack.

Most importantly - Be Yourself!
Unlike online dating, there's no point in assuming a role you think someone wants you to play... here's your chance to find someone who wants you for you. Be proud of who you are and go from there!

Know Thy Self... Be Loved by Someone Else

By Patrick Perrine

Tips for Making myPartner.com (or any online profile really) work for you.

Each of us is incredibly complex. There are so many dimensions to our personalities that in one relationship we are one person and in another relationship we are completely different. Relationships often bring out various parts, or dimensions, into play. The first challenge of establishing a successful relationship is becoming self aware of the many dimensions of your own unique personality.

The following are five steps to identifying your individual characteristics and understanding who you actually are in someone else's eyes.

Step 1... Review your myProfile page
Your myProfile page is someone's first introduction to you and you want to make sure that it represents you the same way you feel about yourself. After making any necessary changes to your myProfile page, make sure to include photos. If you are still not confident that your profile is presenting you the best way, check out our myProfilePartner service.

Step 2... Review your Partner Perfect Compatibility™ profile
Review your Partner Perfect Compatibility™ responses in detail, reading each question and response. Remember, your compatibility profile generates all of your perfect matches that you will potentially form a long term relationship with so make sure you answer the questions honestly! If someone is really interested in you, they may request to view your compatibility profile and you want your responses to represent you truthfully.

Step 3... Ask yourself the following questions: Who, What, Where, When, and Why!
Who am I typically attracted to?
What am I looking for in a partner?
Where are my strengths and weaknesses in a relationship?
When do I realize that a guy isn't right for me?
Why have my previous relationships ended?

Step 4... Share your answers with 2 or 3 people close to you (a best friend, an ex-boyfriend, or your mother!)
This step is important because it allows you to have an objective opinion. Let's be honest...sometimes the people closest to us can see things that we can't even see ourselves, or frankly, just don't want to see. You may think that you are looking for one type of guy, but in reality you may be looking for someone completely different. For instance, you may think that you are mostly drawn to accountants or lawyers, but in the past most of your boyfriends have been disc jockeys or construction workers.

Step 5... Take a step back and analyze your history
Chart the memories of your life in 5-10 year segments and tease out what have been the most important parts of your life. Start out as a 10 year old child and pretend that the adult version of you is praising that child. What would you praise the child for? Jump forward 5-10 years and repeat that task. By doing this, you will uncover or reaffirm the parts of "you" that make you who you are today. Everything that you uncover is a part of what someone will grow to love as they, over the course of discovery, will also get the chance to find out what makes you the person with whom they have fallen in love.


Why follow these simple yet effective steps? It's simple really; the men who truly know themselves will stand the best chance of finding and selecting the perfect partner. And those that do not will be less efficient at evaluating whether or not a potential partner is right for a long term relationship, inevitably investing time, energy, and heart in the wrong places.